Silenced Voices: Autistic Perspectives on Gender Critical Views

This article includes autistic people from different walks of life discussing gender, autism, ideology, women's rights, LGBTQ+, eugenics, gender critical and more

Photo by Simon Hurry on Unsplash

In recent years, the discourse surrounding Identity Politics has become increasingly complex and polarised. Amidst this landscape, one often overlooked group finds itself at the intersection: gender critical autistics. For many on the autism spectrum, expressing gender critical views— the belief in biological reality —has resulted in vilification, ostracisation, and the loss of support networks. In this article, we delve into the stories of autistic individuals who have been silenced and marginalised for daring to challenge mainstream beliefs about gender.

Many of them have gone through their own experiences of gender and have come out the other side with a story to tell and want to help others learn how to cope with identity issues in a healthy way. Many have been trans allies and are LGBTQ+ with heartfelt messages and only want to do good. 

Defining Gender Critical Views:

Gender Critical is the belief that sex is immutable and not to be conflated with gender identity. 

Sex Matters Charity states: “If you believe that there are two sexes, that people can't change sex and that sex matters then you are “gender-critical”. Gender critical people do not believe that “trans women are women” and “trans men are men”. This does not mean they want to harm people who identify as transgender.

In 2021 an Employment Appeal Tribunal 

judgment confirmed that these beliefs are 

covered by the Equality Act, and that they 

reflect both biology and the law.

It is not “transphobic” or “hate speech” 

to state the basic facts of biology, or to 

argue that sex matters in areas such as 

single-sex services, sports, data collection, 

relationships, safeguarding, crime and justice.”

These perspectives are often misunderstood, leading to harsh backlash and accusations of bigotry and hate. The biology of sex in humans, animals and plants has been a basic understanding and foundation of knowledge for a long time in history. Up until recently this would not be a contested issue. 

Stories from the Margins:

The lived experiences of autistic individuals navigating gender identity discourse are often fraught with isolation and exclusion. Many have shared personal narratives of being banned from autism support groups, losing friendships, and experiencing a profound sense of loneliness due to their gender critical views. These stories highlight the consequences of marginalising dissenting voices within the ‘autism community’.

In the quest for inclusivity and support, it is imperative to create spaces where all voices are valued and respected, regardless of their stance on gender issues. Autistic individuals, like everyone else, deserve communities where they can discuss their views without fear of retribution. 

The silencing of autistic voices within discussions on gender, women's rights and autism advocacy is a grave injustice that must be addressed. By amplifying their stories and experiences, we shed light on the intersecting challenges faced by those who dare to challenge mainstream beliefs. Let us commit to fostering greater empathy, understanding, and inclusivity within our communities, ensuring that all voices are heard and valued. Only then can we truly claim to stand for diversity and acceptance.

I spoke to a number of autistic people about their experiences, concerns and views on the debate, leading to illuminating discussions which I will share here. 

An autistic woman who has been a Trans Rights Activist in the past talked about her experiences of gender, including identifying as genderqueer and non binary and her journey to where she is now: 

When I look back on it now, I know it started when I was pretty young, around 6-7, and it was in response to a male friend saying I couldn't pretend to be the doctor in a game we were playing because "girls can't be doctors." Obviously, that statement was fairly absurd even at that time and he definitely was already being indoctrinated into misogyny by some of the adults around him. 

But it was at that moment that something clicked and I said, "then I won't be a girl." And the way my interests and aesthetics diverged from then on, it's not as if I thought I was a boy either, but I "wasn't like other girls." I now know that the way my tastes diverged had more to do with personal aesthetics and maybe ASD, but for most of my life, I didn't realize that. 

Even when I got into Feminism, I didn't really manage to unpack it all and I really didn't know sh*t about feminist theory until I talked with some radfems online, the ones who peaked me. But I was a total Transwomen are Women mantra Trans Rights Activist for a very long time and I'm sure I was unkind to many people who may have been feminists or Gender Critical people. 

I have identified as genderqueer, genderfluid and nonbinary. My aesthetic is still extremely "androgynous" and I still describe my gender as androgyne, but that's all window dressing. None of that has any effect on the sex of my body or on the ability of other humans to understand that I am female. 

I would say I have suffered from gender dysphoria most of my life, but it's because we live in a profoundly misogynistic human society, not because my brain actually tells me that there's anything wrong with being an adult female human.

So many autistic people who have shared their stories have shown such deep understandings of and reflections on their own experiences. These individuals want to share their thoughts on the matter and shouldn't have their voices silenced when it's so clear there is a plethora of knowledge. She later went on to add:

I am incredibly concerned about the huge percentage of autistic people who get into gender ideology. I think, as a group, we are much less likely to adhere to rigid gender roles, less likely to be "gender conforming" and much more sensitive to gendered abuse and societal ideas about gender conformity.

I actually only found out I was autistic after being way into gender ideology for a very long time and being a diehard TRA. Of course, there are still issues that I think we legitimately need to address in regards to gender presentation if we want to live in a just society and I'm still fighting for that. But allowing the presumed rights of one group to override the protections and rights of another marginalized group is not it, honey. 

I think we should be as loud as we can be about how gender ideology affects us. I know not everyone has the spoons to do that frequently or maybe even ever, but I'm gonna.

A question I often ponder myself is how do autistic people end up enthralled in gender ideology since we aren't usually so susceptible to societal pressures. I'm always the first in my group to step aside of mass enthusiasm and yet I fell into it myself for a while. So I put this question forward and got a great response: 

I think one reason we are susceptible to gender ideology is *because* we often don't follow societal expectations -- and human societies still often expect people to uphold the sex-gender presentation accord (that is, the unspoken societal rule that your gender presentation must match your sex) so being gender nonconforming is still considered unusual and "weird" and even wrong in some places. And also because of how it is framed as a social justice issue. I think a lot of us know the feeling of exclusion acutely and fervently want to advocate for people in what might seem like a similar situation.

Others felt they'd had a constant battle against people's perceptions of them because they didn't behave stereotypically to their sex:

People saw my non compliance with gender norms as a stance against my sex. But I was just being autistic. WE'RE GENDER NON CONFORMING!

Some people's lives have been deeply affected by gender issues and only upon reflection many years later could see that it was challenges with autistic identity issues all along:

I think autistic social pains are embedded into gender ideology. I've been through it myself, I feel it. I know it's there. It's a heavy mask to wear and it attempts to hide autistic nonconformity using gender as the mask

Another who went through a very difficult time and is full of regrets could only say:

For me, gender transition felt like a cure for autism. But it was just another mask.

These stories spoke of the same pains in very similar ways. This is a common theme in Autistic Detransitioners stories. It's time we listen to our Autistic Elders who have been through so much before us and are trying to get these messages out so others can have more information to help them through their distress. A lot of autistic detransitioners say that the trans community was a welcoming space that felt like a lifeline at first, but once they started having problems, facing difficult decisions and having feelings of regret the space just wasn't welcoming to them anymore and they feel like people turned their backs on them when they decided to detransition. They're now finding new communities and friends and reconnecting with their bodies and minds. 

Speaking with another autistic woman, we talked about lost friendships and how quickly things can turn nasty even between two people who have known each other for years without issues. She told me:

“I had an online conversation with a friend about how I disagreed with letting males in female-only sports, and sent some studies supporting the current research on the issue. She told me that identifying as the opposite sex means you automatically become the opposite sex, called me a transphobe and blocked me on everything. End of our friendship in 10 minutes, which I was okay with if she was going to behave that way. She then teamed up with one of her friends and posted a ton of screenshots including my name and picture on her social media, calling me a 'TERF' etc. Got a ton of harassing DMs from people I'd never met telling me to kill myself. I hadn't even said ANYTHING against trans people as a whole, only that I disagreed with letting people who had gone through male puberty participate in female sports. I also had a twitter account at the time which I shared some of my thoughts on (again, very civilly) which someone at my college found and shared around my class. I spoke to 1 person for the rest of my two years there. I haven't publicly interacted with any GC communities for years now out of fear, but even now I sometimes get DMs from people saying 'heard you were a TERF.' 

I have many real world experiences that gave me the views I currently hold, including serious assaults by a man, and I feel completely unable to discuss it in any way if I want to keep my friendships and social status. It's miserable and incredibly isolating.

Some of her experiences echoed my own, and I understand the feeling of having deep rooted traumas that affect your life. Women have had violent and sexual hate crimes against them by men since the dawn of time and we have fought hard for single sex spaces where it is often needed. So many of us have similar pasts that shape our needs for boundaries, but now these boundaries are being labeled hateful or even made illegal, leaving us feeling vulnerable and exposed. It makes it very hard to advocate for women's rights if talking about biology is deemed transphobic. When you're in a physical situation like this with a man, there is no denying the biological differences that put male strength ahead of women's. Of course she would have concerns about males competing in female sports due to these stark biological differences, and yet she lost a friend due to this short online conversation. 

One person spoke about their own experiences growing up, stereotypes and non conformity:

I was born in ‘81 so it was kind of the thing to rebel the stereotypes and I’ve always been non-conforming, called a “tomboy” growing up etc. I didn't know I was autistic til much later in life so always felt different, played more with the boys toys, had male friends and got on with them better etc. a lot of typical stuff for autistic girls. I even went through a time in my teen years where I literally bought boys clothing and completely rebelled anything I perceived as feminine or girly. I’m also bisexual so this brought some confusion. I think if I’d been a kid in current times I might have got caught up in this… I like to think the logical and fiercely independent part of me would have saved me but I’m AuDHD and my adhd impulsivity was definitely far more pronounced in my teen years, so I’m glad I’ll never have to find out.

So I guess then when I first heard of trans I didn’t know much or think much about it, I guess I just assumed it was similar to sexuality as that’s what it’s been posed as being and I thought it was more just like declaring I’m “non-binary” as an identity, and didn’t understand the horrors behind it all with kids and actual transition. I was probably leaning towards the “be kind” stance back then. But then I think I just started hearing things about the conflict between women and girls rights vs trans women, between LGB and TQ+ and it rang alarm bells. Then about a year ago it became a special interest and you know where that leads to!

As we already know, a high number of people in gender clinics with gender distress are autistic or score high with autistic traits. Autistic individuals often go through identity distress and social issues, especially during adolescence. We need understanding and time to process. We are often already marginalised and feeling ‘Other’ compared to our peers and we've had a long history of ostracisation from society and even subjected to eugenics. Talking with another person about common concerns with the state of gender clinics, they said:

I'm watching the Autistic Community encouraging Autistic children to line up to voluntarily sterilize themselves. 

The same people who fear "Autistic Genocide" are blind to the fact that they are playing an active role in the elimination of Autism in future generations.

Another person spoke up with:

The online autism ‘community’ is so captured… I’ve left almost all of the groups I once was a part of because of it. The parenting ones too … you’d get so many posts from anxious parents about their gender non-conforming autistic kid (often really young too) and so many comments were encouraging these parents to trans their kid. For a while I stayed so that I could at least attempt to provide balanced commentary but it got so stressful that I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I myself have been observing these occurrences in online autism spaces for a number of years. Any dissenting voices from the ideology narrative are shutdown and silenced. People get trolled, harassed and bullied. People get banned from groups and most groups these days have rules that say gender critical is not allowed, creating echo chambers where only one narrative prevails. So many of us end up leaving anyway as it's no longer a place we can remain in and keep our sanity and wellbeing intact. 

Some highlighted anger towards organisations:

I'm disgusted with the cowardice of the main autism charities who'd rather play politics than protect their own.

I've been thrown out of several women's autism groups.

Someone else has had backlash that meant she had to move workplace:

I was threatened and my work address published online so I had to move where I work. That’s one in a list of things. I am SICK of having to pretend I don’t have an opinion and I am SICK of nodding and smiling when people tell stupid and obvious lies.

Workplaces that are prioritising one belief over another can push people out, creating a hostile work environment. People have to face difficult decisions due to their financial situation and livelihoods:

I am Autistic and functional enough to get a day job, but I find myself having to constantly self censor during the day, on LinkedIn etc but also on personal social media, I have lost good, long term friends over legitimate comments.

Some people have decided to create their own spaces as they can see a need for it and so have taken the plunge to make changes themselves:

I run my own autism group on Facebook, exclusively for women bc yes, most autism groups "for women" allow tw. I would have been sterilised and amputated if I were a girl now. At the time, I was a tom boy and had alot of internalised misogyny, so I would have done it, even against my mother's wishes, to escape the trappings of being female.

Being branded hateful for disagreeing with another's belief has taken us back to past times where Religious vs Scientists were at war trying to enforce conformity to each others beliefs. Scientists stating biological realities were criminalised for going against the teachings of God. 

If today, a Muslim tried to convert a Christian there would be uproar. We have come a long way where all beliefs and religions can coexist without enforcing each other to believe. Each to their own and everyone is happy. Now, we are back in a world where stating biological facts about the sexes is being criminalised again. Just expressing your belief in science today can cause you serious implications when it is simply the truth and does not equate to harm. One person went on to say:

Autistic here, bisexual, think gender stereotypes need dismantling, happy for people to dress and live in the way that makes them happy. I’d love a world where ‘being a man’ or ‘being a woman’ = ‘being 100% yourself and living how the fuck you want in a way that brings you joy’.

But I deal in facts and I don’t have any truck with compelled speech or groupthink. To say people can change sex is a lie, and as most autistic people are very uncomfortable with lying I’m not sure exactly what mental gymnastics autistic TRAs are using to justify their beliefs. Humans can’t change sex.

A parent of an autistic child added:

I am part of a local support group for parents of ND children and the first day I walked in, I was greeted by All The Flags hanging up high on the walls. (The mention of it being a Safe Space also triggered my spidery senses. Safe from what? But that's probably just me). Then someone mentioned that Autistic kids are more likely to be trans. My initial reaction was to say, 'well of course they are, you don't fit in and then someone online or in your school LGBT+ club offers you an 'acceptable explanation' with fluffy rainbows and what looks like acceptance, finally. Of course you are going to fall for it hook, line and sinker. I'd have done as a young teen, which scares me to think about. 

But I didn't say any of that aloud, and felt like a coward. And I find myself self-censoring, biting my tongue sometimes. And attending less and less. I did say that it's probably best to watch and wait, and hold off any medical intervention or social transition when one parent said their 16 year old son said he thought he was trans. I was encouraged to see that a couple of people there thought this was a sensible approach. But still, I find myself second guessing myself, unsure how to behave around the group. Which is a load I don't need. So no support for me as a parent of an ND child.

Another parent said:

I backed out of the parents of ND children support group for exactly the same reason. I had asked some questions very tentatively about the propensity to believe you're not really female because of a combination of cognitive processing and societal pressure to "identify" in some way. But it was clear that my questioning was being received as bordering on "ableism" so I had to drop it.

When I listened to detransitioner Maia's speech, there were moments where I could hear the analytical voice of my own daughter coming through.. only right now, when we do occasionally stumble on this topic - it's a topic best avoided for the most part (I need to prioritise maintaining our relationship in our conversations) - her analytical thinking skills have been whirled in to action using misinformation.

One woman discussed another type of identity politics in the ‘Autism Community’ that are endemic, I've also seen this myself so many times:

I have kids who are autistic. There is certainly a lot of ND in both my and husband's family. Am I autistic? Quite possibly, but not bothered about getting a diagnosis. One ND diagnosis is enough. I have long since come to terms with being myself. But more than that, I don’t want to be linked with those who now refer to themselves as the ‘Autism Community’. Indeed neither do most of autistic people I know in real life (and some ‘Aspies’ and ‘people with autism’ who have been told by the Autism Community they must not refer to themselves that way). This activist group have turned autism into an identity with prescribed beliefs that those who identify (with or without a diagnosis) must follow and part of that is gender ideology. It will be impossible to untangle autism from gender ideology until it is recognised that there is not a single ‘Autism Community’ and those who shout online do not represent everyone.

My children are not interested in the Autism Community either after being in an autism training session where they were constantly told ‘the Autism Community think this’ and that ‘Autistic people do this/are good at that’ neither of which tallied with them.

It's clear that identity politics are so embedded across society in every corner that it has become impossible to serve every individual new identity. The intersections and crossovers are endless, old laws and policies being rehashed and dragged up to be altered to fit another identity into it, often at the expense of removing the original law to protect anothers identity. This is where women are under attack for standing up and saying “But what about our rights? What about our identities? Why are they being removed without our say?”

Women who stand up and speak are vilified and branded, many have lost jobs and career prospects and afraid about their future. And even more women are too afraid to speak at all:

I'd love to tell my workplace neurodivergency group that GC views are protected, but I'm scared. I'm likely to leave the group anyway because the incessant positivity irritates me no end.

A lot of us simply have experience ourselves that we'd like to share. We are all ages, races, sexes, sexualities, parents, friends, partners etc:

I would like to say that it is normal for autistic girls to feel uncomfortable with their bodies when they start to change...as it's change and brings unwanted attention and we can find it embarrassing. It may take us longer to get used to being grown up and that's ok. 

It is normal for us to be slower to want to achieve the life steps of relationships, marriage, children etc. This does not mean that we won't want to at some point so don't prevent yourself having kids in the future just because you don't want them at 16,18 or even well into your 20s. You might change your mind and regret it. Yes, I know that we think we definitely won't, because that's how our brains work, but all of a sudden we can change our minds. Don't discount this possibility.

It's ok to wear comfortable clothes over fashion. Does not make you male, just a comfortable autistic girl.

Autistic girls (and women) do not have to conform to NT gender expectations to be a girl. We can have our own style and culture without being thought of as trans.

Another spoke about their daughter:

I would like to say that it had made finding support for my 12 year old daughter much more complicated. There are ASD groups locally which she is nearly eligible to join (age wise), but they are completely captured and so not safe to send her to. She is really struggling and there isn't much support out there for young kids here so it's extremely frustrating.

One parent stated:

My daughter is in uni and she is a gender critical autistic woman. She doesn't feel comfortable accessing any support for autistic students because they are all genderists. It makes me so frustrated for her, she is missing out on so much because of this ideology.

Another parent explained:

My focus is to try and remove as much bias from around her as I can. We're not going to stop her using the internet, it's how she communicates with her IRL friends - they game together and it's lovely to hear her on the mic laughing etc - and it's how she researches tornadoes and other favourite topics of hers. Currently it's volcanoes. 

I'm heartened by the idea of an ND resource, run by an ND woman who wants to challenge gender identity beliefs with some thoughtful questions and blogs. Thank you. 

I remember reading a comment by Hazel Appleyard (also autistic) on X where she said that once enough autistic people understand what's going on here, they'll be fired up to fight it.

So many people I spoke with echoed reasonable concerns and thoughts about the topic as well as frustration at their voices being silenced. It was evident that many felt some relief at the idea of getting our voices out there as opposed to them being shut down in the online spaces.

Each person had their own reasons for pulling away from the popular narrative about gender and explained how their journey brought them to having gender critical views. They recognised that they had previously not listened to broader perspectives which led them to live in a bubble where they didn't feel the push to consider alternative opinions from others. Reaching out of an echo chamber of thought is not easy and it can be especially hard for some autistic individuals due to black and white thinking styles. 

Many autistic people can face challenges with 'black and white thinking'. This refers to the tendency to categorise things or people as entirely good or bad. Often there are many possibilities in between, like the different shades of grey between black and white, but during stressful situations our ability to recognise the in between shades and nuances can fly right past us. You will have heard the phrase 'can't see the wood for the trees'. 

When the media brands dissenting voices as hateful and bigoted, it means people shut down as soon as they hear something that doesn't align with what they believe is 'right'. This stifles meaningful dialogue necessary for a comprehensive understanding. Staying in a limited pool of knowledge dilutes the intricacies involved in these important issues, leading to ignorance. Progress has been made since the era when religious dogma silenced scientific dissent, punishing those who embraced biological truths. Now, individuals who hold differing beliefs, such as evolutionists and creationists, coexist harmoniously and respect each other's perspectives, despite their differences. Recognising biological sex differences is necessary in so many areas of life. Each body has unique abilities that are driven by sex hormones, these differences should be recognised and celebrated. You can express yourself however you feel is good for you. Men can be feminine, women can be masculine, anyone can be androgynous. Sex doesn't limit us, gender constructs do. We don't need to deny sex in order to celebrate diverse human expression. It's not hateful or bigoted to talk about human biology and diversity. 

Do you have a story to tell? Get in touch if you would like to share your story, whether about autism, gender, sex, ideology - you name it!

Take part in the current Gender Critical Autistic Voices Interviews that are now LIVE