Autistic Interviews #8 DogFood
LGBTQIA+ – They are descriptors that convey information. But I feel as an identity they are more trouble than good
Welcome to Autistic Interviews!
Here you will find different Autistic Voices and Real Life Stories shared, each one unique and highlighting different lived experiences, whilst sharing a common ground: autism. Participants choose which questions to answer, in their own style, making each interview a totally authentic real life story!
Name: Dogfood
Age: 48
Sex: Male
Gender: Man
Nationality: Canadian
Diagnosis: Diagnosed autistic age 37
Why is diagnosis important to you?
It answered many long standing questions and struggles, it opened the door for support and treatments.
Do you consider autism a disability/neurological disorder/mental health condition/developmental disorder/other? How do these terms make you feel?
I am not sure I would say it a mental health condition (thought it being present can eff cut one’s mental health) the rest seem accurate
I feel neutral about these terms. They are appropriate.
Have you been diagnosed autistic but you don't think it's the right diagnosis? Or have you been misdiagnosed with other mental health conditions in the past that were incorrect?
I have been diagnosed with conditions that were not the root cause of my struggles, and given my late diagnosis I have a bit of imposter syndrome, but I am reasonably certain it was the correct diagnosis.
Is anyone else in the family autistic? How did they all find out?
Not as far as I know. At least not diagnosed.
How did you end up getting diagnosed autistic?
GP recommended it
When and how did you realise you are autistic?
When I Was given my diagnosis. I had never considered the possibility prior.
For late diagnosed people, what effect did diagnosis have?
It gave me a sense of calm and understanding regarding struggles I have had in the past. It opened doors for support and accommodation.
Do you think getting diagnosed sooner would have had an impact?
Yes it would have … I spent years wondering why I felt like an outsider in society, depression and anxiety as a result, struggles maintaining work etc etc …
Knowing what I know now I wouldn’t have been trying to fit a square peg (me) into a round hole (the life I was trying to have before)
Do you tell people you're autistic?
I tell some people. Only if it’s relevant.
Do you feel more confident expressing yourself/advocating for yourself since diagnosis?
Yes. Absolutely
Whilst waiting to be assessed did you feel like you might be wrong/crazy for thinking you might be on the spectrum?
I didn’t know I was on the spectrum. I knew there was something causing problems, but I just went through the process of addressing my mental health and this was a test they asked me to do and my diagnosis was the result.
How has going undiagnosed affected you?
Prior to my diagnosis I struggled with all of those things … maybe not identity, as I am not sure I thought in those terms then. I simply am.
Do you have any other mental health diagnosis?
Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Are you medicated/ever been medicated?
For depression and anxiety … in general it didn’t seem to have any significance. It was neither positive or negative other than it didn’t seem to improve anything which is a negative
Is your family understanding about autism/your diagnosis?
They have been generally positive … and they have made the attempt to be supportive but I am not sure they understand, nor could they really.
Do you live with family & do you think you will ever live independently and leave the family home?
I live alone
Do you feel independent in life or do you rely on family or social workers etc for support?
Mostly independent
Do you stim?
I suspect my Stims were suppressed in childhood, so mine are subtle enough that people probably barely notice. It makes me feel … regulated, even.
How do you think others perceive you and why?
I have no idea honestly, and I am generally unconcerned.
If you could change/improve something about yourself what would it be and why?
Better executive functioning.
Do you feel understood?
I am not sure I understand what this means. In a deep and personal way, probably not. I am not sure it would help to be understood, though… I am sure there pros and cons either way
Do you mask/camouflage & how does this affect you?
I do. It can be a little depressing and stressful … but again there are pros and cons either way.
What is your biggest personal challenge you’re currently working on?
Self care and executive function.
What mental health support do you have/have had in the past?
I had a therapist prior to and shortly after diagnosis.
Are you in therapy/had therapy in the past?
In the past. It was generally positive and I gained insights I had not considered before.
Are you cis/hetero/LGBTQIA+ or Other? (Do you like/dislike these terms?)
LGBT … I dislike these terms as they are such a part of today's tribalism, I have sought to avoid labels such as these and simply be me.
Do you think labels are helpful or not? (labels such as Autistic, LGBTQIA+, Disability, Woman, Man etc)
They are descriptors that convey information. But I feel as an identity they are more trouble than good.
Do you struggle with identity issues? (Autism identity/gender/sexuality/imposter syndrome/masking etc) & What type of support do you think would help?
Somewhat, but I have learned to see these issues differently than most that has reduced the struggle
What does gender & gender expression mean to you?
I don’t really understand these terms anymore … they are social constructs that are open to interpretation and sometimes mean different things to different people, cultures, time periods.
Do you think autism is important to address when exploring gender identity issues? Why/why not?
I am not sure identity used in this sense is positive, it may be, but the notions feel alien to me.
Sex is relevant to procreation … the rest is subjective.
How important is autism identity/gender identity to you? Is one more important than the other? Do you think they are linked together or completely separate?
Not important…
What do you think/understand about the overlap/link between autism and gender diversity?
It seems to have a correlation based on data, otherwise I don’t think much about it.
Are you gender nonconforming? (What does being gender nonconforming mean to you?) Do you think anyone can be gender nonconforming?
Gender conformity may be a natural instinctive thing, or a matter of choice and rebellion … anyone can be if they chose to be (though some do not have a choice).
I am mostly gender confirming … let’s say 85% ish
Are you employed? Do you struggle to get/keep a job? Do you excel in the workplace? What problems do you encounter?
Employed at the moment.
I have struggled with employment in the past. Often because I had struggles and didn’t understand why, chose jobs that were not correct for me etc
What support do you think you/autistic people need to find/keep employment?
Mostly to choose a job that suits them
Does your employer/colleagues know you are autistic?
They do. I felt it reasonable to tell my employer and be able to receive accommodations if needed. I told my coworkers for similar reasons
Do you struggle or excel in school/employment?
I struggle AND excel
Are you Introvert/Extrovert?
Introvert
How do you feel about being autistic?
Neutral, it simply is…
Do you ever wish you were neurotypical and why?
I do at times … my life would have been different. There are aspects of life I am missing out on that seem to bring others happiness
If 60% of the population was autistic, what positives and negatives do you think there would be?
It would be chaos. Different support needs, preference in environment all pulling in different directions.
But people would be more blunt and to the point at least.
Are you interested in/do you consider yourself Feminist/Environmentalist/Socialist/Gender Critical/Trans Ally/Humanist et
I try not to label myself in tribal ways. I try to be a good and rational person.
Political stance?
Center with a slight left and libertarian leaning.
Thank you Dog Food for your voice! :)